This week has had me thinking about, well me. I know it's not the "Minnesota Nice" thing to do, but we all need to do some self-reflecting. It helps us to become better people and figure out what is important in life.
Walking with Erika in her battle with Leukemia has caused me to think about my health and what is most important in life. I find myself staring a little longer at my two beautiful boys & husband, holding them a little bit tighter and sneaking in a few extra kisses. Being there for my husband as he watches his sister & only sibling fight for her life has been an emotional roller coaster. I try to have extra grace for his extra fiesty-ness, I making sure to be available emotionally for him, I pray for him and encourage him. I love how manly my man is, I love that if he could, he would take his sister's place, that he would lay his life down for his family & friends. I don't like how hard it is for him to open up; so I just wait for those few moments that he will let me carry his load (I actually pray that he will have those moments). I am so thankful that Jesus wants to help carry our loads too, so that we can find rest in HIM.
I have also been feeling down about what I have been putting into my body and my lack of exercise. Before Josh & I left for vacation, the first week of April, I was eating well and trying to exercise regularly (Before we found out about Erika). I should know this about myself by now, but I need to exercise on a regular basis. It's my choice drug really (besides my coffee). When I'm not on a normal routine of eating well and exercising regularly it affects all areas of my health. My self-esteem plummets, I'm more tired, I'm less likely to want to be intimate and I probably have my sassy-pants on more often.
I don't know about you, but I am just not an early morning person. My heart wants to be, I dream of all the things I could accomplish if I could get out of bed at 5AM--working out, getting a cup of coffee and sitting in silence and doing my devotions, then getting ready for the day. Right now its just not my reality. Instead, I'm rolling out of bed around 6:50-7AM throwing on some clothes, hurrying to Caribou for a coffee to go, all to make it back by 7:15 for my first little kiddo to arrive.
Tuesday I ate one too many cookies and went to bed at 8PM feeling discouraged about my food choices. Wednesday, on the other hand, was a brand new day! I woke up at 5:45AM feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. I was able to enjoy my coffee at Caribou and some much needed time with my Savior. I also had an amazing "Ah-Ha" moment. I have been contemplating hiring a personal trainer a couple of times a week. I want to be toned again and would rather run an hour then do strength training. I have decided to have a substitute come two times each week for an hour so I can partake in strength training exercise classes at the YMCA. I went to 'Group Power' yesterday and can barely walk today, but I love that feeling! The other days I can go running outside with my man. I think he is so hot when he runs! He has amazing broad shoulders, the perfect waistline and defined legs!! (He's going to kill me that I just wrote that--it's the truth though!)
I feel excited, renewed, and refreshed about my new workout routine and times with the Lord in the morning. I can be really hard on myself when I don't get work outs in. This is one less battle that I have to fight in my mind. (It's no wonder I can't wake up in the AM.) I'm doing something for myself that will benefit my family and me! When I exercise I make better food choices and don't have to feel like a glutton. I am also going to try to wake up at 6:30AM so I can have my devo time first thing. The past two days I have so enjoyed sipping on my cup of coffee and reading God's word! I think I was feeling like a failed mom and wife because I couldn't get up and accomplish everything I wanted too, but that's Ok that I don't do it in a specific order. I work 50+ hours each week, plus manage my home and try to be the wife, mother, daughter, friend that God has called me to be. Bottom line, for me, is stop comparing!
I challenge you to make some healthy changes in your life. Our bodies are God's temple and he wants us to respect them and take care of them. Also, when is the best time for you to carve out some quiet time with the Lord? Mornings, during nap time or lunch tim, or before bed?