Today is my official last Tuesday of "freedom," so naturally I shall spend it at Caribou. This morning as I was getting Shane and myself ready (Logan is at "Naughty Boy Tuesday") for our big day, I was thinking of all the errands that need to be ran and projects that need to be finished. I started to feel stressed. I got out my trusty iPhone and started to make a list. I felt better that I wrote it down and couldn't wait to start to cross them off. As I got settled in at Caribou and began to cross off my list I found myself on Facebook... not staying on task & now I"m writing on my blog. I have accounting work to do for my business and I'm dreading every minute of it. I haven't began to enter anything from the beginning of the year. My last job I quit because a huge part of it was accounting and now I find myself my own accountant---scary. (The Lord has a sense of humor) I'm feeling overwhelmed at the amount of items that need to be entered, so anything sounds better then data entry.
Yesterday I signed our family up for the YMCA. I am really excited to get back into shape and to feel good about my body. When I had Logan I felt too guilty to work out after work since I had been away from him all day. Now, I feel privileged that I get to be home with him all day and won't feel guilty working out afterwards. I love that the YMCA has drop in daycare so that Josh & I can work out without interruptions. I know that when I feel healthy, weight wise, I'm a better wife, mom and friend. Today is the start of me making better food choices, so that means I'm taking a break from sweets and fried foods. I'm telling you this so that you can hold me accountable. When it comes to sweets it's all or nothing. I am a closet eater and think that if I eat them all now then I don't have to have them around later. My Senior year of high school and Freshman year of college I struggled with my body perception. I took diet pills, was bulimic, and couldn't leave the gym until I had burned 1000 calories on top of being on the dance team. God brought me through this lie that I was believing. He showed me that I was fearfully and wonderfully made and that there is only one Kelsi Malone Timm and that I didn't have to look like anyone else. I had a tendency to compare myself to my sisters who are naturally thin and my friends. Because of God I don't have those desires anymore. I do struggle with over eating and am embarrassed by it. I know that overeating is a sin, it's gluttony. So I'm confessing my sin to you all and asking God to forgive me. I'm sharing this with you because it's tough being a woman. There are so many pressures to look a certain way and it's easy to get wrapped up in a size. God has designed us all differently and we are not all meant to be a size 2. God asks us to treat our body as His temple---to make healthy food choices and to exercise so that we are healthy for how he designed us. That looks differently for everyone. I pray that if anyone struggles with this that God would open your eyes to how beautiful you are that you would quit believing the lie. If you ever need some to talk with I'm here for you.
Wow, I wasn't expecting to share that, but I type as God leads. Well, I better get back on task. Have a blessed day and don't forget to exercise your right to Vote!
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