This year has been a year I will never forget. I can't say it has been my best year nor can I say that I want another year like this. I call 2012 my year of Job (like the book in the Bible). I am writing this post in hopes to digest and process some more tough news my hubby and I received last week.
Our son, Logan, was diagnosed with Epilepsy. He began having seizures in late June and has continued to have more. We were referred to a specialist, Pediatric Neurologist, and he made the diagnosis. I am relieved that we have an answer and tools to treat his epilepsy, but am in shock that my little guy was given this diagnosis. He has been a healthy little boy up until last month.
You just never know when life is going to change (again). My heart hurts for my little peanut when he goes through a seizure. They come out of no where and he doesn't realize what is going on. He usually gets physically hurt when he has them. As a mother, I want to be able to protect him and prevent injury. I pray that as he gets older he will know his body and will be able to sense when they are coming on. I worry about his future, I want him to have a normal childhood and want him to participate in extracurricular activities. I don't want us to live in fear that something could happen, but we still need to be responsible and not set him up for injury. Will he be able to drive? Will I be able to let him go swimming with friends without me? Will he be safe riding bike or climbing trees? Will he still feel like he conquer the world? Are kids going to tease him?
Logan doesn't completely understand the depths of this, and I think that is OK for now. We will have a new norm in our family, and thats going to be going through the checklist of what Logan can and cannot do, when we go somewhere do we have all of the meds with, do the people he is going to be with know how to handle seizures, etc. I pray that the Lord would make me so in tune to him, that my motherly senses and intuitions would be intensified. I am also praying that the Lord will heal Logan of this condition. I watched him heal my sister-in-law, Erika, from Leukemia, so I know he can heal Logan too. He IS the "Great Physician!"
As I reflect back from last August 2011 to today, July 31st, I have never had to handle/walk through such heavy life situations. (dad died, stepmom battled cancer, sister-in-law diagnosed with cancer, other family health issues, and now Epilepsy) I know that I would have never been able to have maintained peace and joy in the midst of turmoil if it wasn't for my faith in Jesus. HE has been my rock through it all. I don't know how other people go through tough seasons and not know HIM. There is HOPE in Jesus and I cling onto his WORD when life doesn't go the way I have for seen it too (and when it is going smoothly). I am so thankful for all of the amazing people God has placed in my life. They have come alongside me and helped carry my burdens.
Would you be willing to pray for Logan? Would you pray that the Lord would heal him from Epilepsy?
Let me know how I can be praying for you too!!
Below are parts of some song lyrics that feed my soul...
In Christ Alone:
"In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my All in All
Here is the love of Christ I stand!"
(Logan & I love to sing this song...LOUD!)
"Our God is greater
Our God is stronger
God, you are higher then any other
Our God is healer
Awesome in power
Our God, our God